rebecca
Master Craftsman
Posts: 458
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Post by rebecca on Sept 18, 2008 1:45:28 GMT
Apparently this is from Rolling Stone mag:
A doctor says to the patient: "You need to quit masturbating." "But why, doctor??" "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
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Post by maddogfagin on Sept 19, 2008 18:15:11 GMT
EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008
NEW OFFICE POLICY
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. Bathroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management Pass this on to all who are employed!
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Post by TullSkull on Sept 19, 2008 21:58:34 GMT
Subject: ARTHRITIS
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked," Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of bath." "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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Post by broadsword on Sept 25, 2008 6:51:33 GMT
Did you hear about the prawn that went to a discotheque and pulled a muscle?
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Post by admin on Oct 6, 2008 9:58:28 GMT
Did you hear about the bloke who fell in the sewer?
He couldn't swim but he went through the motions
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Post by admin on Oct 6, 2008 9:58:51 GMT
don’t ever agree to a thyroid examination!!! -
Actual writings on hospital charts:
1.She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3.On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4.The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6.Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7.Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9.The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10.Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12.Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13.She is numb from her toes down.
14.While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15.The skin was moist and dry.
16.Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17.Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18.Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19.She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22.Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23.The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24.The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25.Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26.The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27.Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28.Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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Post by admin on Nov 10, 2008 22:09:50 GMT
A woman runs into the house excitedly screaming "Honey quick pack your bags, pack your bags, I've won the lottery!"
Husband shouts down "What should I take - beach, ski, safari?!!
Wife replies "Anything, just get out"
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Post by maddogfagin on Nov 11, 2008 8:53:06 GMT
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'.
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked;
'Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?' ;D
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Post by maddogfagin on Nov 17, 2008 10:33:03 GMT
One for the ladies Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out that he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he would need a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. He said: "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit £200 million." Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men. ;D
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Post by maddogfagin on Dec 8, 2008 8:58:26 GMT
On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales. At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress, 'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce the name of where we are, very, very, very slowly?' the waitress replied ......... BUR....GER....KINNNNNGGGGGG ;D
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Post by nonrabbit on Dec 26, 2008 11:57:23 GMT
A wee boy said to his granda ,,,,,,, granda when you walk behind us will you croak like a frog, why should I croak like a frog asked the grandpa, because mummy said that when you croak we're all going to Disneyland!
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Post by silkenmist on Dec 26, 2008 13:15:23 GMT
A wee boy said to his granda ,,,,,,, granda when you walk behind us will you croak like a frog, why should I croak like a frog asked the grandpa, because mummy said that when you croak we're all going to Disneyland! Subject: Speaking Blonde THE PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.' THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE COPILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE COPILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.' THE COPILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, 'YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE.' HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, 'OH, I'M SORRY.' SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND COPILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON.' Silken... ;D
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rebecca
Master Craftsman
Posts: 458
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Post by rebecca on Jan 21, 2009 1:28:44 GMT
Nosey did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep.All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed."What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he asked."This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.""WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Nosey. "I want you to send me back immediately.""It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."Nosey thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad."I want to return as a hen," Nosey replied.And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered.But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow.Then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?""Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my arse is about to explode.""Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg.""How do I do that?" Nosey asked. "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."Nosey clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground."Wow" Nosey said. "That felt really good!"So he clucked again and squeezed.And you better believe it, there was yet another egg on the ground.The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:"Nosey, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You've $h1t the bed.....!!!
Remember Nosey, Jioffe? For anybody out there who watched "The Family" on BBC 4, those were the inlaws of this guy from my Van list! Only two degrees separation...
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Post by fatman on Jan 21, 2009 5:33:55 GMT
Nosey did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep.All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed."What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he asked."This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.""WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Nosey. "I want you to send me back immediately.""It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."Nosey thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad."I want to return as a hen," Nosey replied.And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered.But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow.Then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?""Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my arse is about to explode.""Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg.""How do I do that?" Nosey asked. "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."Nosey clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground."Wow" Nosey said. "That felt really good!"So he clucked again and squeezed.And you better believe it, there was yet another egg on the ground.The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:"Nosey, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You've $h1t the bed.....!!! Goodness gracious, Rebecca! I fear the self-righteous and hypocritical preachers of propriety might protest! Jeff
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Post by Col on Jan 21, 2009 14:43:19 GMT
I fear the self-righteous and hypocritical preachers of propriety might protest! Jeff Who might they be then?
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Post by maddogfagin on Jan 21, 2009 17:18:49 GMT
I fear the self-righteous and hypocritical preachers of propriety might protest! Jeff Who might they be then? Think he means us. Jeff, Referring back to the deleted “gutter” thread, personally I’d rather attempt to keep this forum open for everybody of all ages and sensibilities to enjoy and contribute to, than let it begin to slide down the slippery slope that I’ve seen other internet forums, including ones concerning Tull, where a very small minority have spoilt it for the vast majority. You only have to look at the “official” Tull chat room to see what I’m getting at with what appears to be non Tull fans ruining it for others. Lets keep the purpose of this site focused on the reasons it was set up in the first place and we’ll all have a good time. We all like a good and clever joke, and whereas political correctness is not my way of looking at things, I do bear in mind that some people may have opposing thoughts and ideas. If that means we occasionally have to moderate things then so be it. That’s what we’re here for. Graham aka maddog
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Post by fatman on Jan 22, 2009 5:38:59 GMT
Think he means us. Jeff, Referring back to the deleted “gutter” thread, personally I’d rather attempt to keep this forum open for everybody of all ages and sensibilities to enjoy and contribute to, than let it begin to slide down the slippery slope that I’ve seen other internet forums, including ones concerning Tull, where a very small minority have spoilt it for the vast majority. You only have to look at the “official” Tull chat room to see what I’m getting at with what appears to be non Tull fans ruining it for others. Lets keep the purpose of this site focused on the reasons it was set up in the first place and we’ll all have a good time. We all like a good and clever joke, and whereas political correctness is not my way of looking at things, I do bear in mind that some people may have opposing thoughts and ideas. If that means we occasionally have to moderate things then so be it. That’s what we’re here for. Graham aka maddog My point was always that you cannot have a Tull board and expect it to be squeaky clean, or G-rated. Four letter words, blatant obscenity, degrading personal insults and slurs, etc., I agree have no place here. But the randy aspect of Ian's lyrics, performances and jokes should be fair game on this board, and so should any funny, mildly ribald tales involving members of the band, such as those that Bernie and I wanted to tell. All of that, you must admit, is in the true Tull spirit. Your concerns about young folk visiting here and being shocked or scarred for life are unfounded because in England, for example, all young people have to do is look at tabloids which contain many photographs of bare-breasted females and certainly tongue in cheek stories about sexual matters. For god's sake, look at what happened in our country during the Clinton administration....the president was impeached for lying about oral sex, and exhibit "A" was a semen-stained dress, and all of this was widely joked about and very public, on television, in the newspapers and magazines, despite the fact that those media are freely accessed by young people. It just goes with the territory of living in open, free democratic societies. Jeff
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Post by Col on Jan 22, 2009 10:59:28 GMT
Instead of continuing your one-man crusade, why not use your time to post something a little more constructive. How about a question to Ian?
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Post by broadsword on Jan 23, 2009 5:50:59 GMT
Here's a joke, you remember them, they make you laugh.......
2 friends meet in a bar, they've not seen each other in ages. One says "Jimmy, how's that gorgeous wife of yours?". Jimmy says "Oh I killed her, couldn't stand her a minute longer". "Now look, if you talk like that, I don't want to know". "Come back to my place and I'll show you".
They get to Jimmy's' place and in the middle of the lawn there's a mound of earth. "There, that's where I buried her". "But Jimmy, you've left her bum sticking out, why?".
"Because I need somewhere to keep my bicycle".
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Post by admin on Jan 23, 2009 10:40:31 GMT
Lol, yes lets this get back to funnies. This is probably outside the legal definition of a joke but it made me chuckle. What goes through your mind when someone says "Let's go for a drink"?
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Post by bluehare on Jan 23, 2009 16:26:54 GMT
Alright, Col, to follow yours: ;D
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Post by fatman on Jan 24, 2009 6:28:06 GMT
Instead of continuing your one-man crusade, why not use your time to post something a little more constructive. How about a question to Ian? What I'd like to know is who do you think you are instructing me what to post and what not to post. Another censor? My defense of free speech is constructive; your snide response, on the other hand, was obnoxious and completely unprovoked. I was thinking of asking Ian what inspired his idea for the song Roll Your Own. But I better not. It wouldn't be proper. Jeff P.S. And you better get rid of that seductive, scantlily-clad female cartoon character. It is corrupting the morals of the hordes of small children known to frequent this site.
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Post by Col on Jan 24, 2009 17:23:00 GMT
Instead of continuing your one-man crusade, why not use your time to post something a little more constructive. How about a question to Ian? What I'd like to know is who do you think you are instructing me what to post and what not to post. Another censor? My defense of free speech is constructive; your snide response, on the other hand, was obnoxious and completely unprovoked. I was thinking of asking Ian what inspired his idea for the song Roll Your Own. But I better not. It wouldn't be proper. Jeff P.S. And you better get rid of that seductive, scantlily-clad female cartoon character. It is corrupting the morals of the hordes of small children known to frequent this site. Why don't you try re-reading it? My post was clearly a suggestion, not an order. Unprovoked? Are you saying I am not entitled to post on whichever topic I choose? You posted a deliberately sarcastic comment in this thread, and I chose to respond. Who are you to instruct me to get rid of my avatar? Your post is full of hypocrisy. Everything you accuse me of, you are guilty of yourself. It's clear that you only post on this site to spout off and vent spleen. Post your question, I couldn't give a toss.
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Post by bluehare on Jan 24, 2009 17:51:01 GMT
fatman -
I don't know you. So please understand that this is directed at your posts, and not you.
I was not going to weigh in on this, but you appear to be unwilling to let it go. Now it's even on the "humor" thread. Maybe if more people speak up, it will become clearer that your "rights" are not the ones being violated.
You did speak up, and people did hear you. They gave pretty straightforward answers as to why they agreed or disagreed with you.
My first issue is that it really makes me uncomfortable when a person drags out the Constitution to suit their own ends. As far as I know this forum was not based on our Constitution, so it doesn't really pack much of a punch here.
Maybe "rights" isn't the best description of what we can expect on a forum. Maybe a forum is more like a house.....where you have privileges. Violate the privileges and, well, I know I always got grounded.
This is not trying to be a slap in your direction, but I'm not going to baby talk, either. You're right. For the most part, this is a grown up forum. As such, I don't feel I should have to candy coat my comments any more than you feel you should.
However, Col asked you to. That is the point.
And if he asks me not to comment any further, I will stop.
I am a member of this forum now, but I started out as a guest. If we keep with the notion that a forum is like someone's house, I would never dream of walking into somebody else's place, make myself comfortable, and then proceed to tell them how they should now be running it, or I'm going to be offended. That's just bad manners.
Col is the first line. If he asked me to stop doing something, it would stop.
If I persisted, and he had to sic a second person on me, shame on me.
But not only has Col talked to you, but so has a moderator, and others have said things as well. Now I'm saying something.
You feel like your toes - your rights - have been tread upon. Well, now you're treading on the toes of others.
Any time one person more than you, and the people that support you, disagrees with you...you're outnumbered. You're a minority. Right now, you are in the minority. More people have asked you to give it up than have asked you to continue.
Please respect the wishes of the people who have commented on this, and who responded to you in a respectful way, and let this issue drop now.
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Post by fatman on Jan 24, 2009 18:14:59 GMT
What I'd like to know is who do you think you are instructing me what to post and what not to post. Another censor? My defense of free speech is constructive; your snide response, on the other hand, was obnoxious and completely unprovoked. I was thinking of asking Ian what inspired his idea for the song Roll Your Own. But I better not. It wouldn't be proper. Jeff P.S. And you better get rid of that seductive, scantlily-clad female cartoon character. It is corrupting the morals of the hordes of small children known to frequent this site. Why don't you try re-reading it? My post was clearly a suggestion, not an order. Unprovoked? Are you saying I am not entitled to post on whichever topic I choose? You posted a deliberately sarcastic comment in this thread, and I chose to respond. Who are you to instruct me to get rid of my avatar? Your post is full of hypocrisy. Everything you accuse me of, you are guilty of yourself. It's clear that you only post on this site to spout off and vent spleen. Post your question, I couldn't give a toss. I apologize for being too harsh, perhaps I did read your comment the wrong way. However, you're missing my point. I didn't really mean that you should get rid of your avatar, any more than I meant there was anything wrong with the "nosey" joke. I was using sarcasm to make a point as to what is or is not permissible on this site, because the moderators have decided to go down that slippery slope. I actually would like to ask Ian the question about Roll Yer Own, but I feel intimidated not to because that sort of ribald talk has been deemed impermissible here, and if you engage in it, your posts will be stricken (which strikes me as ridiculous because The Man himself loves that sort of thing). Bad dirty jokes and sexually suggestive cartoon characters, however, apparently do pass muster here. As far as your accusation against me that I am only here to "spout off" or "vent spleen," you are new here. Take a look at my 150 or so posts here and you will see how wrong you are. What I am doing is stirring the pot a little, because I do not feel that certain mature topics should be considered "off limits" when discussing Tull, as such topics are now, and have always been, an integral part of the lyrics and stage presentation. Jeff
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Post by fatman on Jan 24, 2009 18:32:40 GMT
fatman - I don't know you. So please understand that this is directed at your posts, and not you. I was not going to weigh in on this, but you appear to be unwilling to let it go. Now it's even on the "humor" thread. Maybe if more people speak up, it will become clearer that your "rights" are not the ones being violated. You did speak up, and people did hear you. They gave pretty straightforward answers as to why they agreed or disagreed with you. My first issue is that it really makes me uncomfortable when a person drags out the Constitution to suit their own ends. As far as I know this forum was not based on our Constitution, so it doesn't really pack much of a punch here. Maybe "rights" isn't the best description of what we can expect on a forum. Maybe a forum is more like a house.....where you have privileges. Violate the privileges and, well, I know I always got grounded. This is not trying to be a slap in your direction, but I'm not going to baby talk, either. You're right. For the most part, this is a grown up forum. As such, I don't feel I should have to candy coat my comments any more than you feel you should. However, Col asked you to. That is the point. And if he asks me not to comment any further, I will stop. I am a member of this forum now, but I started out as a guest. If we keep with the notion that a forum is like someone's house, I would never dream of walking into somebody else's place, make myself comfortable, and then proceed to tell them how they should now be running it, or I'm going to be offended. That's just bad manners. Col is the first line. If he asked me to stop doing something, it would stop. If I persisted, and he had to sic a second person on me, shame on me. But not only has Col talked to you, but so has a moderator, and others have said things as well. Now I'm saying something. You feel like your toes - your rights - have been tread upon. Well, now you're treading on the toes of others. Any time one person more than you, and the people that support you, disagrees with you...you're outnumbered. You're a minority. Right now, you are in the minority. More people have asked you to give it up than have asked you to continue. Please respect the wishes of the people who have commented on this, and who responded to you in a respectful way, and let this issue drop now. It's not really a question of the Constitution, it's more a question of what should or should not be permissible on a Tull site, and I maintain that absent blatant obscenity, four letter words and degrading personal insults and slurs, members should be able to talk freely about ribald, Tull-related topics, because that type of humor is inherently a part of Tull. The fact that young people may visit here -- although I question how many children are logging on -- should not matter, since young people are exposed to such things whenever they turn on the television or look at a tabloid newspaper. By the way, I did let the issue drop, haven't said a word about it for several weeks until now. But you seem to be suggesting that I should just keep my mouth shut when I spot subsequent inconsistencies in the policy. Jeff
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Post by Col on Jan 24, 2009 19:58:50 GMT
I apologize for being too harsh, perhaps I did read your comment the wrong way. However, you're missing my point. I didn't really mean that you should get rid of your avatar, any more than I meant there was anything wrong with the "nosey" joke. I was using sarcasm to make a point as to what is or is not permissible on this site, because the moderators have decided to go down that slippery slope. I actually would like to ask Ian the question about Roll Yer Own, but I feel intimidated not to because that sort of ribald talk has been deemed impermissible here, and if you engage in it, your posts will be stricken (which strikes me as ridiculous because The Man himself loves that sort of thing). Bad dirty jokes and sexually suggestive cartoon characters, however, apparently do pass muster here. As far as your accusation against me that I am only here to "spout off" or "vent spleen," you are new here. Take a look at my 150 or so posts here and you will see how wrong you are. What I am doing is stirring the pot a little, because I do not feel that certain mature topics should be considered "off limits" when discussing Tull, as such topics are now, and have always been, an integral part of the lyrics and stage presentation. Jeff Jeff, don't be fooled by my post count, I've been around here since Day 1. I'm not the most prolific poster by quite some way, but I read it all as I'm sure many of the guests that visit here do. I've read with interest all the previous comments and to be honest I did agree with Col that a "gutter" forum was unnecessary. However, I feel like lately it's become an attack against my own, and like you, I say what I think. I think this whole topic has blown itself WAY out of proportion. Col didn't want a "Gutter" forum as part of this Board. That's all. Your posts prove that you're articulate and eloquent enough to be able to post stuff without resorting to the lewd and crude. I'm sure you and anybody else that wants to discuss these topics can do so within the context of the main Board without it descending into anything we don't want our kids to see. Col just didn't want a forum dedicated to the whole subject. Col has worked really hard to get this site up and running, and you have no idea of the "behind the scenes" stuff that has gone on. The Q&A's are testament to that aren't they? Not just the forthcoming one with Ian, but everyone else too, who I'm sure you'll agree have provided us with very entertaining reads. You should post your question to Ian, it would be an opportunity missed if not wouldn't it?
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Post by fatman on Jan 24, 2009 20:17:34 GMT
I apologize for being too harsh, perhaps I did read your comment the wrong way. However, you're missing my point. I didn't really mean that you should get rid of your avatar, any more than I meant there was anything wrong with the "nosey" joke. I was using sarcasm to make a point as to what is or is not permissible on this site, because the moderators have decided to go down that slippery slope. I actually would like to ask Ian the question about Roll Yer Own, but I feel intimidated not to because that sort of ribald talk has been deemed impermissible here, and if you engage in it, your posts will be stricken (which strikes me as ridiculous because The Man himself loves that sort of thing). Bad dirty jokes and sexually suggestive cartoon characters, however, apparently do pass muster here. As far as your accusation against me that I am only here to "spout off" or "vent spleen," you are new here. Take a look at my 150 or so posts here and you will see how wrong you are. What I am doing is stirring the pot a little, because I do not feel that certain mature topics should be considered "off limits" when discussing Tull, as such topics are now, and have always been, an integral part of the lyrics and stage presentation. Jeff Jeff, don't be fooled by my post count, I've been around here since Day 1. I'm not the most prolific poster by quite some way, but I read it all as I'm sure many of the guests that visit here do. I've read with interest all the previous comments and to be honest I did agree with Col that a "gutter" forum was unnecessary. However, I feel like lately it's become an attack against my own, and like you, I say what I think. I think this whole topic has blown itself WAY out of proportion. Col didn't want a "Gutter" forum as part of this Board. That's all. Your posts prove that you're articulate and eloquent enough to be able to post stuff without resorting to the lewd and crude. I'm sure you and anybody else that wants to discuss these topics can do so within the context of the main Board without it descending into anything we don't want our kids to see. Col just didn't want a forum dedicated to the whole subject. Col has worked really hard to get this site up and running, and you have no idea of the "behind the scenes" stuff that has gone on. The Q&A's are testament to that aren't they? Not just the forthcoming one with Ian, but everyone else too, who I'm sure you'll agree have provided us with very entertaining reads. You should post your question to Ian, it would be an opportunity missed if not wouldn't it? Fair enough. I don't doubt that Col has worked very hard to get this site running, and I know he's done a lot of recruiting. It's good to have an active forum again. I just hope that anything and everything that can be found in Tull's repertoire, as well as fans' stories regarding their meetings with band members, will be fair game for discussion here. Since we are dealing with Tull here, this will, from time to time, include the lewd and crude. (Can you imagine, for instance a cruder song topic than The Curse?) For instance, if I want to start a new thread entitled "sexual imagery in Tull" (which I do), will that be censored or stricken? Jeff
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Post by admin on Jan 24, 2009 21:17:21 GMT
For instance, if I want to start a new thread entitled "sexual imagery in Tull" (which I do), will that be censored or stricken? Jeff No Jeff, if you want to start that thread, it will not be immediately censored or stricken. But, it will be watched, and as long as the thread is adult (and by adult I mean grown-up, not adult as in XXX top shelf adult material) then it will be no problem. If it degenerates into "gutter" territory, then it will be deleted. Hope that makes it clear. I fully appreciate there has been some sexual content in Ian's lyrics over the years. If this is talked about in context of everything else he's written about too, then fine. If it's just used as an excuse for deliberately gratuitous adult content, I will delete it. If I'm honest, I really am getting a bit bored with this discussion now. Has anyone got a good joke? This was the joke thread wasn't it?
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Post by broadsword on Jan 25, 2009 1:44:35 GMT
Jeff old matey, try a joke, it works wonders, here's a humorous observation, not really a joke, but it's the best I can do at nearly 2am
What's the difference between a cat, a dog and a pig?
A cat looks down on you, a dog looks up to you and a pig treats you as an equal,
night night Tullers
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