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Post by Equus on Sept 12, 2015 8:45:42 GMT
This is the Thread that wasn't expected... and with great anticipation, absolutely not awaited... (...Sorry about that... I should remember that I can only speak for myself...)...but never the less, a chance to write imaginary, and absolutely wacky articles for the false... St. Cleve Chronicle... Let your inner journalist get the better of you, and hit us with your best shot... Fire away!
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Post by Equus on Sept 12, 2015 10:57:21 GMT
Reporting for the false...
In 2005 Miss Unnur Birna, from Iceland, yes that is her name, won the Miss world contest... She now reveals to the (false) St. Cleve Chronicle, that she is alive, and well, and living together with a rather large Duck... The Duck is kind of fluffy, and drools a lot... He has had this problem since the 70th... Unnur Birna was touched by the Ducks apparently unstoppable drooling problem, and took pity on him... She tells us that it set in motion a mother instinct that she didn't even knew that she had... "We have tried almost everything!" She says, but the drooling just won't stop... Unfortunately the drooling seems to increase, especially when she is deeply concentrated, trying to solve the children's corner crossword... This causes her to perspire so much, that she is forced to take of all of her cloth in order to gain a little control... and therefore always tries to solve the crossword, stark naked... (Fluffy) The Duck, has been a crossword fan for many decades, and is always to be found in the vicinity of Miss Unnur Birna, when she so courageously, and feverishly battles with the words...
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Post by JTull 007 on Sept 12, 2015 15:13:38 GMT
Reporting for the false...
In 2005 Miss Unnur Birna, from Iceland, yes that is her name, won the Miss world contest... She now reveals to the (false) St. Cleve Chronicle, that she is alive, and well, and living together with a rather large Duck... The Dock is kind of fluffy, and drools a lot... He has had this problem since the 70th... Unnur Birna was touched by the Ducks apparently unstoppable drooling problem, and took pity on him... She tells us that it set in motion a mother instinct that she didn't even knew that she had... "We have tried almost everything!" She says, but the drooling just won't stop... Unfortunately the drooling seems to increase, especially when she is deeply concentrated, trying to solve the children's corner crossword... This causes her to perspire so much, that she is forced to take of all of her cloth in order to gain a little control... and therefore always tries to solve the crossword, stark naked... (Fluffy) The Duck, has been a crossword fan for many decades, and is always to be found in the vicinity of Miss Unnur Birna, when she so courageously, and feverishly battles with the words... Equus... I tend to drool as well when I see Unnur singing or just being on stage with TULL ...
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Post by steelmonkey on Sept 12, 2015 16:25:02 GMT
Cross-eyed Unnur ? Or is she just happy to have seen me ?
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Post by Equus on Sept 12, 2015 16:50:05 GMT
The false St. Cleve Chronicle have just learned that Jim, the honorable member of The Jethro Tull Forum, also known as JTull 007, has admitted that he also have a drooling problem... Is this the start of an epidemic? Is this just the tip of the iceberg? and will this eventually cause the sea levels to rise? This is just a few of the questions, The False St. Cleve Chronicle is contemplating at the moment... (...besides the milking girl...) This typical male problem, by the way... often believed to be caused by wonderful, stunningly beautiful, and absolutely gorgeous females... In Jim's case, this condition is caused by a particular female, singing his favorite music... music written by the mastermind behind all things Tull, Mr. Ian Anderson himself... We here at The False St. Cleve Chronicle, wish the best for Jim Corpening, and hope that he will soon experience a full recovery from this dreadful drooling condition... by the way... wasn't it Frank Zappa who once wrote the song: "And the drooling never stops?"
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Post by JTull 007 on Sept 12, 2015 18:34:08 GMT
This typical male problem, by the way... often believed to be caused by wonderful, stunningly beautiful, and absolutely gorgeous females...
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Post by Equus on Sept 13, 2015 20:20:28 GMT
Reporting for The (False) St. Cleve Chronicle... Is God still an overwhelming responsibility? It has come to our attention that God is still an overwhelming responsibility... All over the world, people are experiencing anxiety attacks, simply because they find it hard to live up to Gods very high, and great expectations! In our search of the truth about the matter, we have interviewed five sisters from Kintail... When we arrived, the other day, we immediately started watching sister one, watching sister three, watching sister two, watching sister four, watching sister five, who had lost her spectacles... We were just about, to send her in search of the optician, but luckily, she had a spare pair... Later, that same evening... We asked sister one, who now were watching, sister five, watching sister four, watching sister two and three... Well... anyway... We asked sister one, who were now watching sister two, who were watching sister three, watching sister four, watching... (...to be continued...)
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Post by Equus on Sept 19, 2015 10:20:01 GMT
Reporting for The False St. Cleve Chronicle... Mr. T-bone Jackson... This is very embarrassing... but it has come to our attention, that one of our false newspaper articles, have been dead wrong... It turns out that "we" have made a grave mistake... Fluffy The Duck has not been a crossword fan for decades... He told us the other day, and that he had not had a relationship with that woman... Miss Unnur Birna... Our chief reporter, Mr. T-shirt Jackson is now struggling with a depression, and is believed to be found somewhere in a town of England... could be Newcastle, Leeds or Birmingham... When Mr. T-shirt Jackson heard about his silly mistake, he shouted at the top of his lungs: "How could an intelligent reporter make such a silly mistake?" Ostensibly motionless, he then stormed out of the office, scowling! "We" here at The False St. Cleve Chronicle are very sorry, but unfortunately it took a while for us to join the dots...
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